In light of recent events, I felt the need to write this blog- and try to fill it with powerful energy. It's not so much about sexual relationships as it is about loving relationships. Enjoy.
One upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a young woman who had a lot of crap happen to her. She tried to do her best and play the cards she was dealt but life wasn't so easy. It wasn't that life was very hard either- but everything came as a challenge. While at her breaking point, feeling at her lowest, she looked around her- the sun was shining, there was beautiful snow on the ground, her house was warm and cozy. She realized that while, yes- some things in her life suck, life as a whole was wonderful. She decided from then on that she is magical. She started to believe that everything happens for a reason and while there are dark days- everyday MUST have a silver lining. There has to be ONE good thing, at least, that has happened to her each day. From then on, she went on to fulfill her dreams... the end??
So, here's what is going on. I am not in Israel. I love that country more than I love men but I love my family more. I came back to take care of some things. While I am not the happiest of campers, I am trying to get acclimated without losing the Israeli identity that grew on me and allowed me to be... well, me. I will always have my citizenship there and will look forward to the day when I can be at peace with everything.
Last night, my mom had surgery. She has kidney cancer. Her surgery went well but it will take some time to figure out if the cancer is really gone. I pray that it is. Maybe then my mom can get on with her life.
This morning, my grandmother went into the hospital. (Great timing, I know.) I don't know what's going on but I pray for the best.
My grandfather is still dying. He has leukemia.
I hope that answers some questions...
So, why do I feel magical? Well, two of my closest friends met on my birthday last year. Allow me to re-cap my 26th birthday: my boyfriend broke up with me... or said he would think about us being together. In the end, I found out on facebook that it was really over. Happy Birthday to me. I wasn't near my family... or at least near my sisters. The upside is that I had family in from Michigan that tried to make my first Israeli birthday amazing. I felt very alone on my birthday. While I was wallowing, my friend Dan sat across from my friend Adina at my birthday dinner table. There must have been a spark because they are getting married- and I couldn't be happier for them. One amazing thing grew from my birthday... this makes me happy. That was my silver lining.
I feel magical because I am in Michigan and I have the ability to teach my two year old nephew how to blow fish kisses. I can spend this time with my mom, while she's in recovery. I get to learn how to be "the new me" in the place of my birth. I have a new found love for Detroit- and I try to go on adventures as much as possible. While they are no "Adventures of Hillary and Shira"... it'll do for now.
I try to find the good side of everything and remain positive but I am human. I am not without fault or negativity. I am lucky to have friends who remind me to to kvetch so much and I am lucky to have friends who will let me call them at 11pm and bitch about boys when I don't want to focus on my mom's surgery. Boys are more fun to talk about anyway.
To all my friends (my family)- Americans, Israelis, and all the others in between- thank you. I appreciate you being there and allowing me to be me. I love that you let me bitch and whine when I need to get it out and go crazy when I am feeling silly. In times of crisis, I have you to fall back on. In happy times, I have you to count on. I love you all and I thank g-d you're in my life. Thank you to those who sent their kind wishes during this hell-ish week and to those who have kept my family in their thoughts and prayers. I couldn't have made it through anything without you. Thank you to my sisters for keeping me sane and reminding me that some things never change.
I would not be who I am now if it weren't for those in my past. I would not know where I am supposed to go in life if it weren't for those in my present. I look forward to who I become with the people in my future.
Shalom. Peace. Love to you all.