Some men will never learn. Within this generation of the Internet/communication savy, some people just miss the point... quite often. Maybe it's that we want to believe EVERYONE will like us if we put our best foot forward, alas not everyone will and not everyone does. Take me for example. On paper I am AWESOME! I am a woman who knows what she wants, knows where she is going, and knows where she has been. I love kids and animals (except snakes!!), would do anything for my friends, and can kick ass- then take names. I dig sports, speak my mind, and enjoy a good puppet show. What the paper doesn't show is that when I get stressed- I don't want to talk about it. If I want to talk about what's bugging me, I will start talking. If you try to coax it out of me, I will get annoyed. If I get annoyed enough, I will not like you. Case closed. The paper also does not show that I have a proven track record of being hot and heavy for about two months until I lose interest. I am terrified at falling in love. The paper also does not show that I mean what I say and I say what I mean. If I like you, I will tell you. If I don't, to spare your feelings- I will show you with signs. Most women will. And they will look like these:
The walk away: If a woman is not interested in you, her body will not be positioned towards you and she will be making her way towards somewhere (or someone) else. Honestly, don't try to box her in- it makes her feel uncomfortable and it makes her like you less. A lot less. Let her go, she just doesn't like you. Do you enjoy being physically chased after? Neither does she. Unless she has to go to the bathroom, if she likes you- she won't walk away from you.
The watch check: Does the object of your affection constantly look at her watch as if she's praying for it to be later? If she was truly interested, time wouldn't matter. Even if she has to be up at 6 AM. The watch check, or any fidgeting motion, shows she wants time to pass faster because she is either bored or has somewhere else to be. Either way, she's not into you.
The cell phone check: We live in the age of caller ID and voicemail. Thank g-d for those. I've been on many dates where I did not want to answer my phone because I really enjoyed the company. Aunt Sally in Nebraska can wait on dates like those. However, in my early 20's, my best friend used to call me a half hour into my date. If I picked it up on one or two rings, she created a story that got me out of the date... quickly. If it took me a while to answer (say 4 rings), it was her sign to call back in another 30 minutes. If I didn't answer at all, she knew it was ok to leave me alone because nothing was getting in the way of that glorious evening. Make sense? If the cute girl your talking to keeps checking her phone, then she isn't checking you out. Move on.
The no call/e-mail back: Some guys (and girls) don't get it. If the person you seek wants you back, they will return your calls... or answer them at least. Ya dig? This one seems like a no-brainer to me. You meet a girl at a bar, get her phone number, call her in three days... if she doesn't call you back in three days- find a new girl. Same goes for girls. You meet a guy, go on a date, he doesn't call within the first three days, call him ONLY ONCE. No call back? Move on. Someone will like you- just not that person.
In an age where we have an over abundance of communicational aides (yes, I did just create a word), we seem to forget the natural signs in dating. If a person truly wants to talk you- they will. If they don't, they won't... and nothing you say or do will change that. Occasionally, you will meet people who will stop at nothing to keep in touch with you- no matter where in the world you are. More often than not, you won't. Happy dating!
26 October 2007
12 October 2007
a note to Jewish men
A note to Jewish men...
Alright guys, lately I've been hearing Jewish men say all Jewish women want a man with money, who drives a nice car, and will provide for them. I am here to introduce you to a *different* kind of Jewish woman who doesn't care how much money you make. Why? Because she will, some day, make more than you do. She doesn't care what kind of car you drive. She also doesn't care where you went to college, how big your house is, or about your 401K. (note to my Jewish guy friends who date non-Jewish girls because they think they aren't Jappy... non-Jewish girls can be just as Jappy as Jewish girls. Honestly.)
Ok, so who are these Jewish women I speak of? These are women who honestly think "Family Guy," "the Simpsons," and "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" are funny. Not only do they know the Lion's fight song- by heart- they also understand the game of football. Probably baseball too. They are willing to watch it with you for the love of the game... not just to be near you. They are women who you might think will blow your ego in a game of pool... and probably will. They will call you on your shit and make you own up to your crap. You're probably thinking "why the hell would I want a woman like that?!" Well, in all honesty, because these are also the women who will support you in every dream you have... even if it's to go to the Tigers Fantasy Camp. They are the women who will stand by you through thick and thin. These Jewish women are relatively practical in monetary things. They probably shop at Target... on sale. And there is nothing wrong with that!
This breed of Jewish woman is just as happy with a date consisting of a six pack and pizza while watching Will Farrell, as they are about going to a fancy restaurant and a night on the town. So, where can you find this woman? Look within your group of friends or think back to those girls you tossed aside. You probably know a few. They are often over looked as "one of the guys." These are the girls who are at ball games with their girlfriends ragging on their least favorite player. Sure, we may not look like Angelina Jolie or measure up to Charlize Theron- but we're just as funny and kick ass too.
We don't expect much, we've probably had our fair share of shitty boyfriends... but don't over look us. If you're sick of bringing your most recent bank statement to a first date and are annoyed with girls who order the most expensive item on the menu (at least she eats!)... give these girls a try. They may just surprise you.
So, the next time you're going on a date with a girl and she makes a suggestion like "let's go to an arcade" or "how about bowling?" ... she may very well be one of these girls, and she's probably a keeper. She may bust your balls in skee ball or in a political debate- but you know she'll always keep you on your toes and be there to catch you when you fall- regardless of whether you drive a Ford Focus or a BMW. If you gave up one of these girls... for whatever reason... you're a dumbass.
Alright guys, lately I've been hearing Jewish men say all Jewish women want a man with money, who drives a nice car, and will provide for them. I am here to introduce you to a *different* kind of Jewish woman who doesn't care how much money you make. Why? Because she will, some day, make more than you do. She doesn't care what kind of car you drive. She also doesn't care where you went to college, how big your house is, or about your 401K. (note to my Jewish guy friends who date non-Jewish girls because they think they aren't Jappy... non-Jewish girls can be just as Jappy as Jewish girls. Honestly.)
Ok, so who are these Jewish women I speak of? These are women who honestly think "Family Guy," "the Simpsons," and "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" are funny. Not only do they know the Lion's fight song- by heart- they also understand the game of football. Probably baseball too. They are willing to watch it with you for the love of the game... not just to be near you. They are women who you might think will blow your ego in a game of pool... and probably will. They will call you on your shit and make you own up to your crap. You're probably thinking "why the hell would I want a woman like that?!" Well, in all honesty, because these are also the women who will support you in every dream you have... even if it's to go to the Tigers Fantasy Camp. They are the women who will stand by you through thick and thin. These Jewish women are relatively practical in monetary things. They probably shop at Target... on sale. And there is nothing wrong with that!
This breed of Jewish woman is just as happy with a date consisting of a six pack and pizza while watching Will Farrell, as they are about going to a fancy restaurant and a night on the town. So, where can you find this woman? Look within your group of friends or think back to those girls you tossed aside. You probably know a few. They are often over looked as "one of the guys." These are the girls who are at ball games with their girlfriends ragging on their least favorite player. Sure, we may not look like Angelina Jolie or measure up to Charlize Theron- but we're just as funny and kick ass too.
We don't expect much, we've probably had our fair share of shitty boyfriends... but don't over look us. If you're sick of bringing your most recent bank statement to a first date and are annoyed with girls who order the most expensive item on the menu (at least she eats!)... give these girls a try. They may just surprise you.
So, the next time you're going on a date with a girl and she makes a suggestion like "let's go to an arcade" or "how about bowling?" ... she may very well be one of these girls, and she's probably a keeper. She may bust your balls in skee ball or in a political debate- but you know she'll always keep you on your toes and be there to catch you when you fall- regardless of whether you drive a Ford Focus or a BMW. If you gave up one of these girls... for whatever reason... you're a dumbass.
07 October 2007
smells of desperation
People have known for centuries that women tend to be more desperate for things than men... especially love. More often than not, when a woman breaks up with a man she will question whether she did the right thing. If she feels she didn't and really misses him- she'll swallow her pride and talk to him about it. Men may think "I made a mistake" but rarely will they act on it.
Recently, I learned how desperate some women are when trying to get a man. Jdate, the Jewish online dating network, allows you to see who has viewed your profile. To make my parents happy (and keep them off my back), I signed up for Jdate. I usually get interesting men looking at my profile. Occasionally, I will see that a man over the age of 45 has viewed my profile (like they have a chance!) It is rare for a woman to look at my profile. This week, I've had a few hits from women. It's odd to me.
I used to question why a woman would look at another woman's profile. This question was answered for me by a woman in the form of an instant message. She explained to me that she has been dating a guy she met on Jdate for a while. She hacked into his account and saw that I had viewed his profile. She then logged back into her account, looked at my profile, and sent me an IM. She would have been safer using his account to look at my profile.
This woman is smart enough to see that my handle is the same as my AOL Instant Messenger. So, she sent me an IM. After explaining to me who she is, how she got my screen name, and why she hacked into this guy's account- she explained what she wanted. Having noticed other women looking at his profile, she decided I was the prettiest one and the one woman who could keep her from really getting this man. She asked me, politely, not to look at his profile or contact him. Ever. It's a little bit irrational but I told her it wasn't a big deal. When she asked me "why would you say it's not a big deal, it's a big deal to me!" I responded with "he's ugly and too short for me... he's all yours." Needless to say she got pissed. After trying to insult me, I asked her not to contact me again and I hope her relationship turns out well.
Someone please explain why women do this? I'm a woman and it would never dawn on me to contact another woman to ask her not to contact the object of her affection. How did we become this insecure?
To my fellow women, learn this: if you have to stoop to such a low level and ask a woman not to contact a guy you're dating- stop and think that there is a reason he is dating you. Stop thinking someone could get in the way. The only person that can get in the way is you. If he likes someone else, he wasn't that into you and you'll find someone better suited for you. Just move on. Don't lower yourself. We're better than this...
On a similar note, I wish there was an emoticon for "creeped out" because that's what I am after this experience.
Recently, I learned how desperate some women are when trying to get a man. Jdate, the Jewish online dating network, allows you to see who has viewed your profile. To make my parents happy (and keep them off my back), I signed up for Jdate. I usually get interesting men looking at my profile. Occasionally, I will see that a man over the age of 45 has viewed my profile (like they have a chance!) It is rare for a woman to look at my profile. This week, I've had a few hits from women. It's odd to me.
I used to question why a woman would look at another woman's profile. This question was answered for me by a woman in the form of an instant message. She explained to me that she has been dating a guy she met on Jdate for a while. She hacked into his account and saw that I had viewed his profile. She then logged back into her account, looked at my profile, and sent me an IM. She would have been safer using his account to look at my profile.
This woman is smart enough to see that my handle is the same as my AOL Instant Messenger. So, she sent me an IM. After explaining to me who she is, how she got my screen name, and why she hacked into this guy's account- she explained what she wanted. Having noticed other women looking at his profile, she decided I was the prettiest one and the one woman who could keep her from really getting this man. She asked me, politely, not to look at his profile or contact him. Ever. It's a little bit irrational but I told her it wasn't a big deal. When she asked me "why would you say it's not a big deal, it's a big deal to me!" I responded with "he's ugly and too short for me... he's all yours." Needless to say she got pissed. After trying to insult me, I asked her not to contact me again and I hope her relationship turns out well.
Someone please explain why women do this? I'm a woman and it would never dawn on me to contact another woman to ask her not to contact the object of her affection. How did we become this insecure?
To my fellow women, learn this: if you have to stoop to such a low level and ask a woman not to contact a guy you're dating- stop and think that there is a reason he is dating you. Stop thinking someone could get in the way. The only person that can get in the way is you. If he likes someone else, he wasn't that into you and you'll find someone better suited for you. Just move on. Don't lower yourself. We're better than this...
On a similar note, I wish there was an emoticon for "creeped out" because that's what I am after this experience.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)