Alright, this 35 year-old super model has some chutzpah. How many times does Naomi Campbell get to hit her maid/personal assistant/random person before her ass gets throwin in jail?
That is my rant.
28 February 2007
22 February 2007
the power of words...
I realized early on in life that words have a great deal of power. I learned how sensitive I am to words and how I get offended at how one person may say one thing, but another person may say the same thing I have no reaction. When I was a teenager and I had my first boyfriend, we used to say the "I miss you" and the "I love you" phrases in passing. It meant nothing. I was 17 and knew nothing about love. The phrase "I love you" became something I said to boyfriends because I thought I was supposed to say it. I loved them but I wasn't in love with most of them, until I came back to Israel almost two years ago. I met a guy on a trip I was staffing and we became friends. At first I wouldn't talk to him because he was so beautiful. Over time, we developed a friendship and all the teens on this trip thought we were hooking up. We were just good friends. It wasn't until the trip ended and I was in Rehovot that we got together. That was the first time I was really ever IN LOVE. It happened quickly and I remember thinking that even if nothing came of it- I would always love him and I would always be his friend.
Over eight months ago I moved to Israel as a citizen, as most people know. I didn't do it to be with this guy, I did it because it felt right to me. In the months that followed, I dated around but also became better friends with "D" to the point where my sister would ask "what are you waiting for? He makes you laugh and is always there for you. You should be with him!" I didn't take this so lightly because what people from the States forget is this lovely thing called distance. I may live in the same country as him and we may live an hour from eachother but it's a lifetime away. We still email and call, and conclude some of the time with the "I love you" phrase- but it's different. I love him as a friend. As friendly as we are, I have moved on.
Currently, I am seeing someone. Words and phrases have new meanings. Unlike the past mistakes I've made, I am growing and learning. I just explained to a friend and her boyfriend tonight how the first stages of dating are the worst. You walk on eggshells trying to see where this is going and hope the rug doesn't get pulled out from under you. Baby steps are necessary in the beginning stages. It's a huge leap to say "I like you" to someone- especially an Israeli. I used to say "I like you" to someone after just one date. In truth, most of the guys I dated were not interesting enough to be told "I like you" and if I had slowed down, I would have seen that. With new boy, it took me a bit of time to say it and it came out like this "I like you. Not the kind of 'I like you' where I want to be your girlfriend. More the kind where I like getting to know you, I like what I know, and I'd like to see where this goes. Ok?" He just smiled and said "ok!" No "I like you" back at me. I am ok with this. Everyone goes at their own pace.
One thing that does bug me is when people ask "how are things going with New Boy?" It always leads me to second guess what is going on. I say "things are good, I think." Which begs them to ask "is everything ok?" Well of course everything is OK but you've just asked me a question that makes me second guess whether things are ok! Things are ok though. I asked my friend Brian for advice on guy speak. New boy sent me an instant message before he went out tonight and at the end he wrote "miss you." This is a huge leap for me. Earlier I was thinking how I actually do miss him when he's not around. It isn't because we spend so much time together, because we don't. It is because we DON'T spend much time together, it gives me a chance to miss him being around.
So these words "miss you" struck me tonight. They hit me so hard that I felt warmth through out my body. It was nice. I take it as a sign that my feelings were genuine. The power that these two little words have is astonishing. I say "I miss you" to my friends and I know I mean it. I haven't seen Shira in days and I miss her. I haven't seen Sarah in eight months, Talya in four months, and Gayle in a month and a half- yet I miss them all. I know what missing someone feels like, yet when this boy says those two words to me- I melt. Sorry girls, but you don't have that kind of effect on me.
Words are powerful tools and as a writer, I try to not use them for worse- more for the better...
Over eight months ago I moved to Israel as a citizen, as most people know. I didn't do it to be with this guy, I did it because it felt right to me. In the months that followed, I dated around but also became better friends with "D" to the point where my sister would ask "what are you waiting for? He makes you laugh and is always there for you. You should be with him!" I didn't take this so lightly because what people from the States forget is this lovely thing called distance. I may live in the same country as him and we may live an hour from eachother but it's a lifetime away. We still email and call, and conclude some of the time with the "I love you" phrase- but it's different. I love him as a friend. As friendly as we are, I have moved on.
Currently, I am seeing someone. Words and phrases have new meanings. Unlike the past mistakes I've made, I am growing and learning. I just explained to a friend and her boyfriend tonight how the first stages of dating are the worst. You walk on eggshells trying to see where this is going and hope the rug doesn't get pulled out from under you. Baby steps are necessary in the beginning stages. It's a huge leap to say "I like you" to someone- especially an Israeli. I used to say "I like you" to someone after just one date. In truth, most of the guys I dated were not interesting enough to be told "I like you" and if I had slowed down, I would have seen that. With new boy, it took me a bit of time to say it and it came out like this "I like you. Not the kind of 'I like you' where I want to be your girlfriend. More the kind where I like getting to know you, I like what I know, and I'd like to see where this goes. Ok?" He just smiled and said "ok!" No "I like you" back at me. I am ok with this. Everyone goes at their own pace.
One thing that does bug me is when people ask "how are things going with New Boy?" It always leads me to second guess what is going on. I say "things are good, I think." Which begs them to ask "is everything ok?" Well of course everything is OK but you've just asked me a question that makes me second guess whether things are ok! Things are ok though. I asked my friend Brian for advice on guy speak. New boy sent me an instant message before he went out tonight and at the end he wrote "miss you." This is a huge leap for me. Earlier I was thinking how I actually do miss him when he's not around. It isn't because we spend so much time together, because we don't. It is because we DON'T spend much time together, it gives me a chance to miss him being around.
So these words "miss you" struck me tonight. They hit me so hard that I felt warmth through out my body. It was nice. I take it as a sign that my feelings were genuine. The power that these two little words have is astonishing. I say "I miss you" to my friends and I know I mean it. I haven't seen Shira in days and I miss her. I haven't seen Sarah in eight months, Talya in four months, and Gayle in a month and a half- yet I miss them all. I know what missing someone feels like, yet when this boy says those two words to me- I melt. Sorry girls, but you don't have that kind of effect on me.
Words are powerful tools and as a writer, I try to not use them for worse- more for the better...
20 February 2007
and then some
At the end of the semester, I looked forward to the month-long final exams. Now the exams are over. My vacation is almost over. I haven't done anything except work, go to Haifa, and hang out with new boy. Yes, I call him new boy.
Sunday (יום ראשון), Shira and I ventured up to Haifa in hopes to climb up the stairs of the Bahaii Gardens. What we didn't expect was the peanut M&M sized hail balls that fell from the sky. This was what we encountered after we got off the train in Binyamina (בינימינח). When we finally got back on another train to head up to Haifa, the rain lifted a bit. We reached the gardens just as it started to rain. When we asked a grounds keeper how to get in, he mentioned that the gardens close when it rains. After about an hour and a half of eating chinese food, we walked around the section of Bat Galim (בת גלים). Just as it becomes sunny, Shira and I found the sea and Yotvata in the city and I was a happy camper.
Monday comes around and I honestly cannot remember what I did for most of yesterday except stare at a computer screen and watch stupid TV. It's pretty much what I did today too. I also thought a lot about dating and relationships. I guess I seem to do that when I have too much time on my hands. Which should show how little work I've gotten done. Back to the grind...
Sunday (יום ראשון), Shira and I ventured up to Haifa in hopes to climb up the stairs of the Bahaii Gardens. What we didn't expect was the peanut M&M sized hail balls that fell from the sky. This was what we encountered after we got off the train in Binyamina (בינימינח). When we finally got back on another train to head up to Haifa, the rain lifted a bit. We reached the gardens just as it started to rain. When we asked a grounds keeper how to get in, he mentioned that the gardens close when it rains. After about an hour and a half of eating chinese food, we walked around the section of Bat Galim (בת גלים). Just as it becomes sunny, Shira and I found the sea and Yotvata in the city and I was a happy camper.
Monday comes around and I honestly cannot remember what I did for most of yesterday except stare at a computer screen and watch stupid TV. It's pretty much what I did today too. I also thought a lot about dating and relationships. I guess I seem to do that when I have too much time on my hands. Which should show how little work I've gotten done. Back to the grind...
02 February 2007
lovely government
What government is without sex scandals? The boring ones! Israel just conviced Haim Ramon, former Justice Minister, of forcibly kissing one of his staffers. Today it's forcing a kiss upon a girl, tomorrow it's forcing yourself upon her. President Moshe Katsav is in deep water for the rape, sexual assult, sexual misconduct, and sexual harrassment of eight women. He denies all charges. I understand denying one rape- perhaps it didn't happen... but eight?? C'mon Katsav, fess up. Haim Ramon refuses to give up his seat in the Knesset and may not get jail time. His conviction stands. Jail time or not. Do I think he learned his lesson? Probably not. Mothers, keep your daughters away. As for self-suspended President Katsav, he is taking a three month sabatical of sorts where, hopefully, he'll be a good boy and keep his hands to himself.
The woman who accused Haim Ramon of kissing her, "H" as she is called in the media (and no, it is not me), has recently stated she could never be attracted to Ramon as he is eight years older than her father. Well, Sean Connery is many years older than my father and he's still hot. My point is, this is not reasoning for feeling disgusted by what he did. Attraction or not, what Ramon did is wrong. You cannot force yourself on ANYONE for ANY REASON at ANY TIME! It's just wrong. She should not feel she HAS to give some pissy reasoning for being disgusted by Ramon's actions.
In other Israeli news, I took my government exam yesterday. I have to say, I've enjoyed this semester with Dr. Doneson, he's a great professor. I just received my latest paper back- I got an A! My paper was in referrence to Hannah Arendt's "Banality of Evil" when it came to the Adolf Eichmann in respect to his Nazi career. While I did not explain the "Banality of Evil" at all in my paper, I came up with my own version of her thesis. Arendt's thesis states that some of mankinds most evil acts are not committed by lunatics or fundamentalists, but rather by average people who thought their jobs were normal- as they were doing things to best serve their country. However, based on her accounts of the Eichmann trial, I ripped her to shreds. Arendt is a mastermind of ideas, and I love it. I love her provocative work and controversial ideals, but some of it cannot be taken seriously. At the end of my paper, my professor wrote "A thoughtful engagement with Arendt's provocative thesis written with verve." Sounds good to me. I'll take it!
Dr. Doneson is not an easy grader. If he doesn't feel you held your position, then you are not graded well. I understand that some people are not the greatest writers, but in a position paper, state your position and state it clearly! Anyway, my exam was a lot like writing a paper. Out of 12 identifications, we choose five. Out of five paragraph essays, we choose 3. Out of a few page long essays, we choose one. My long essay was on Globalization and whether I believe it is good or bad. Who wins or loses? I am pro-Globalization (which to some people makes me REALLY evil). I have a job thanks to out-sourcing. Israel's economy runs very well thanks to globalization. My friend, Yael, chose the same question- and the opposite view point. This is why I like working with her. She doesn't always agree. She is like me, she doesn't like something and she'll tell you why!
All in all, I am cautiously optomistic for this exam. Everyone walked out of there thinking "this was easy!" The last time I felt THAT accomplished, I got a 78 on a midterm. So I am cautiously optomistic. After every question, I stop and ask myself "did I answer this question?" Not even "did I answer the question well?" Just simply "did I answer this question?" Hopefully I did well. I was even brave enough to send my crush a text asking how his exam went- he wrote back. I passed out right after that. This learning stuff makes me tired. אבל הכל בסדר (but, it's all good).
Today is a new day, and a new one that involves the grocery store...
The woman who accused Haim Ramon of kissing her, "H" as she is called in the media (and no, it is not me), has recently stated she could never be attracted to Ramon as he is eight years older than her father. Well, Sean Connery is many years older than my father and he's still hot. My point is, this is not reasoning for feeling disgusted by what he did. Attraction or not, what Ramon did is wrong. You cannot force yourself on ANYONE for ANY REASON at ANY TIME! It's just wrong. She should not feel she HAS to give some pissy reasoning for being disgusted by Ramon's actions.
In other Israeli news, I took my government exam yesterday. I have to say, I've enjoyed this semester with Dr. Doneson, he's a great professor. I just received my latest paper back- I got an A! My paper was in referrence to Hannah Arendt's "Banality of Evil" when it came to the Adolf Eichmann in respect to his Nazi career. While I did not explain the "Banality of Evil" at all in my paper, I came up with my own version of her thesis. Arendt's thesis states that some of mankinds most evil acts are not committed by lunatics or fundamentalists, but rather by average people who thought their jobs were normal- as they were doing things to best serve their country. However, based on her accounts of the Eichmann trial, I ripped her to shreds. Arendt is a mastermind of ideas, and I love it. I love her provocative work and controversial ideals, but some of it cannot be taken seriously. At the end of my paper, my professor wrote "A thoughtful engagement with Arendt's provocative thesis written with verve." Sounds good to me. I'll take it!
Dr. Doneson is not an easy grader. If he doesn't feel you held your position, then you are not graded well. I understand that some people are not the greatest writers, but in a position paper, state your position and state it clearly! Anyway, my exam was a lot like writing a paper. Out of 12 identifications, we choose five. Out of five paragraph essays, we choose 3. Out of a few page long essays, we choose one. My long essay was on Globalization and whether I believe it is good or bad. Who wins or loses? I am pro-Globalization (which to some people makes me REALLY evil). I have a job thanks to out-sourcing. Israel's economy runs very well thanks to globalization. My friend, Yael, chose the same question- and the opposite view point. This is why I like working with her. She doesn't always agree. She is like me, she doesn't like something and she'll tell you why!
All in all, I am cautiously optomistic for this exam. Everyone walked out of there thinking "this was easy!" The last time I felt THAT accomplished, I got a 78 on a midterm. So I am cautiously optomistic. After every question, I stop and ask myself "did I answer this question?" Not even "did I answer the question well?" Just simply "did I answer this question?" Hopefully I did well. I was even brave enough to send my crush a text asking how his exam went- he wrote back. I passed out right after that. This learning stuff makes me tired. אבל הכל בסדר (but, it's all good).
Today is a new day, and a new one that involves the grocery store...
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